Wednesday, October 2, 2013

On Strength

I leave this Sunday to begin my trek to Everest Base Camp. 
I've pretty much said over the last 14 months everything there is to say.  You know where I started from, you know the bumps that I've encountered along the way.  One thing I want to tell you is that I'm one helluva fighter.  Sometimes that word gets thrown around too loosely, I know. Over the last 12-15 years I've been in some pretty rough spots, but never did I feel deep in my heart that I was going to die.  I fought to live, not to avoid death.

I would never, never have referred to myself as a fighter before all of this happened.  In fact, I used to be one of the most insecure people you'd ever want to know.  I hid it well -- after all, litigation is 50% acting anyway.  I never felt comfortable about my own decisions, professional or personal, and I constantly vetted them to anyone who would listen.  I was never brave enough to step outside the box -- I never wanted to fail.  I deferred my decisions to others who I thought were better able to make them.  And most importantly, I never stood up for myself.

But it's all different now.  Life teaches us lessons, and through those lessons sometimes you get a gift.  My gift was strength.   I fought over and over again and each time I won.  Discovering I had strength was probably one of the coolest things I've ever felt in my life. 

And now?  Don't mess with me (and that's the clean version).   I'll stand up to anyone who challenges my intellect, my abilities, or my decisions.  I roll with my limitations but I don't let them hold me back.  Don't think that because I'm forgetful I'm not smart.  Don't think that because I occasionally stumble, I'll end up falling.  And don't think that because I'm slower than I used to be, I'm stupid.  I'm far from it -- never underestimate me.

So, intrepid readers, off I go to Nepal with my new-found strength and confidence.     Sunday morning I'm off to LA, then to Katmandu via Bangkok.  I simply can't believe it's here.

I won't be posting on my blog while I'm away -- too expensive.  But our guide group, Alpine Ascents, will post an update on my Facebook page every day and I may chime in here and there.   So please, keep an eye out.  Friend me on Facebook and I'll friend you back. I return to the States on November 3.

Thanks to everyone for your support and encouragement.  

उन्तिल लाटर 

Until later.

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